TO MY ABUSER

You. Trying to be holy and calm now, does not erase or change the years of abuse. And it doesn't mean that you're changed, or are no longer
abusive. You act unjustly, rashly, repeatedly, and you use your position, as well as the false image that you've created, to take advantage. Even up to last week, the emotional abuse has been nonstop, yet you walk around hiding it, and blaming me for how you behave.

Your self-interest and self-preservation, to the detriment of others, is not ok. You extend an olive branch to me, then strike me across the face with it when I reach for it. Or I don't reach for it, out of fear of getting hit again, and you still strike me, for not having taken it.

Your anger and misplaced blame is insatiable. And the arrogance with which you wield it is incredible. It's not ok for you to be in the position you're in, and hurt and punish me so deeply, because of your
past.

There's just no reason for abuse. And I've tried to work things out with you privately for years. But you take pride in hurting me and covering it up. Pride in crushing me and still moving in the highest church circles. Pride in hurting me with your words and hands and having absolutely nothing happen.

It's no longer ok.