In A Good Place, For Now

I've been apart from my abuser for 6 days, now, and have had alot of quiet time to think. More and more, when he lapses back into his abusive behaviors and I pull away, the time away gets easier. Before, I would feel like some vital part of me had been violently ripped away. The pain, the anguish, the darkness I felt was indescribable. But because his abuse cycles were so frequent, I was learning to remove myself when he started to boil over. And I was starting to manage the pain.

Today, I don't feel any of that. I'm not so naieve where I believe I'm totally over my feelings for him and I wont think about him. But I can say that there is a big difference in the way I'm thinking and feeling right now. I'm not devastated. I'm not upset. Maybe a bit sad, and reflective, but nowhere near the levels of breakdown that I used to experience.